a dance in battle costumes

you and i are like wounded beasts

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so i'm working for the frame shop again for a few months, while trying to get my business going. it's zero stress, and i have time to concentrate on anything other than work, so there's that.

A funny thing happened a couple weeks ago. My friend Scott who I worked with at Cardullo's, who still works there, contacted me and said the owners would like me to come back and help out during the holidays. I definitely laughed out loud hen i got his text.
I don't think I've talked much about Cardullo's here so I'll do that now. After I left O Ya, and was kind of at a loss about what to do next, I needed a job, and walked into Cardullo's not really expecting much (for anybody reading this not in Boston/not familiar, Cardullo's is a gourmet food shop that's been around a long time, located right in the center of Harvard Square in Cambridge). I guess they really liked me because they hired me on the spot, not for the cashier position that was advertised, but for a shipping coordinator position. It was sort of weird. The guy in charge of shipping and marketing and shit, one of the third generation of Cardullo's in charge of the store (also one of three siblings in the family, two of which were owners of the store), was only there 2 days a week, so my second day there i was on my own. it wasn't a difficult job, though it did cause me a bit of stress initially while getting used to using a proprietary back-end sales/inventory system.
Without getting into details, I did that job for about 6-7 months. During that time I did a little design and product photography work, and got a raise (though not a sufficient one) for that extra work. Around may or june or something, their chef (preparing food to be packaged for takeout, and some stuff for the deli sandwich counter) didn't show up for like a week. They asked me if I wanted to take over as Chef. I said yeah ok. By the end of July, I was pretty fed up. The store was filthy and unsanitary (rats and roaches, lots of roaches, super old inefficient equipment, employees who didn't give a shit), the owners were/are horrible people who only care about profit, and I still wasn't getting payed nearly enough considering I was working as their chef, and still continuing to handle a lot of their shipping needs. So I quit.
So yeah when Scott texted me I told him I wouldn't help them unless they paid me at least $15/hr and I wouldn't have any other responsibilities besides shipping. I guess they were ok with it, and said they'd pay $16/hr. (side note: the fact that $16/hour seems good depresses me more than I can really convey).

So I'll be doing 4 days at the frame shop, and 2 days at Cardullo's during december.


As far as my Private Chef business shit goes, I got my DBA from the city, and an EIN through the FED's website, so I'm basically just trying to set up vendor accounts now.

The woman who I did the initial dinner for wants to do another one, and Sarah has had a few clients take our info for possible dinners. I'm trying not to concern myself with how many jobs I get right now, since I'm working full time, and any money I get from this is supplementary right now. I'd rather focus on improving my food/service and really nailing each job. I mean the first dinner went well, but I forgot stuff on a plate or two, and I had to do a dessert for one of the guests on the fly because she was allergic to everything. I pulled it off, but I'm not the sort of person who feels that great when I accomplish something. I'm usually focusing on what I could have done to make it better.


definitely come to the conclusion that i have Resting Bitch Face. (Actually, I wouldn't say Bitch, It's more like Resting Sociopathic-Dead-Shark-Eyes Face). Also I look tired all the time. Like, dead-tired. I'd probably be a lot more attractive if I looked healthy and rested and ready for each day. Kinda bummed about it. Not really sure what I can do.

Like I NEVER get hit on. EVER. I mean I guess I can attribute some of it to gender expectations, but come on.

I still can't talk to girls. I don't know if I'll ever be able to and feel completely comfortable. I think I just didn't have enough healthy exposure as a kid. Girls, you're like another species to me. What do?

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RBF. I have it too. It's okay.

Practice the Duchenne smile maybe? Guys who don't smile look really scary. Guys smile more rarely than girls, so the sight of it is much more intriguing than it is for a slightly-smiling girl.

I was never taught how to make friends as a kid, so I'm shitty at making friends. So i developed this whole pretending-to-be-extroverted thing that *now* is *on* so much that people call bullshit when I say I'm not a social unshy person.

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